Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Bachelorette Meets Jane Austen

I have a confession to make.

But, you know, this season I’m actually not as ashamed of it as I have been in the past.  This has been a very different and much better season than normal.

I think it has a lot to do with Emily.  I wasn’t sure how I would like her as the new bachelorette – it was so sad that she and Brad didn’t work out, they seemed so in love...

But Emily has turned out to be utterly fabulous.  She’s funny and cute and seems just. real.  She’s like a Southern Jane Austen heroine.  And there’s not as much schmaltzy, meaningless talk about ‘connections’ as there has been in previous seasons.  Emily knows what she wants and cuts straight to the point.  If a guy doesn’t seem like he’s ready for ‘marriage and babies,’ he gets the boot immediately.

I finding myself watching the show this season, instead of just leaving it on in the background and poking fun at it with my Mom (although the poking fun definitely still happens ;)).  If ABC could take a lesson from Emily and give us more sensible bachelors and bachelorettes in the future, that would be wonderful.

If Jane Austen had ever had a Southern heroine (and lived in a different country and era, of course…), I bet that heroine would have been a lot like Emily.

But that begs the question: which of the men in Jane Austen’s novels would Emily’s bachelors be?

Charlie -- Mr. Bingley.  Friendly, jovial, charming, has secret insecurities...they even both are named Charles – he’s totally Bingley.  Don’t think that Emily will end up as his Jane Bennett though…

Stevie –- Mr. Collins. Ever wonder what Mr. Collins would look like if he tried to do hip hop dancing?  Picture Stevie.  I do feel a little bad over this match-up, cause poor Stevie wasn’t exactly pompous or anything – but c’mon: that simper?  It had Slimy-Mr-Collins written all over it.  But don’t worry man, there’s a Charlotte Lucas out there for you somewhere.

Travis –- Mr. Rushworth. He’s bumbling.  He’s goofy.  He’s Rushworth.  Although Mr. Rushworth never actually tries to impress a girl with an ostrich egg in Mansfield Park, it’s something I can just see him doing.

Jef –- Mr. De Courcy.  Reginald De Courcy, in case you don’t know, is the hero in Lady Susan, one of Jane Austen’s early works (by the by, if you haven’t read LS, go, read it now. It’s short, witty, perfect summer read).  ANYway, Mr. De Courcy, like Jef, is young, rich, slightly cocky, but somehow adorably hapless too.  And very cute.  I’m a fan of Jef.

Ryan -- Mr. Wickham.  Ryan appeared to be a nice guy at the beginning and a strong contender.  But I think we can agree from the promos: next week the crazy's comin' out.

Kalon -– Robert Ferrars.  This dude is so obnoxious I had to dig deeper than even an Elton or a Collins to find the right match for him.  But I think I found it: Kalon is Robert Ferrars.  Can’t you just imagine Edward’s pretentious brother from Sense and Sensibility saying something like, ‘I love it when you talk, but I wish you’d let me finish.’ It just leaves your mouth open in shock and your eyes glittering with gleeful disgust.  Next week, I bet Kalon will be talking about how excessively fond of a cottage he is.

Doug –- Mr. Eliot. Seems like a put-together sort-of guy at first glance, and yet…I just can’t read his face, and I’m not sure I trust him.  Just how Anne felt about Mr. Eliot in Persuasion.

Nate Mr. Cox.  Can’t remember Mr. Cox?  Exactly.

John -– Mr. Willoughby.  To be fair, this dude might be nice, and we know very little about him.  But then the Dashwoods knew very little about Willoughby and thought he might be nice!  There are certain moments when John just looks like a Willoughby.

Tony -– Captain Bennick.  There aren’t many emotional men in Jane Austen, isn’t that interesting?  But I think Capt. Bennick of Persuasion is a good fit for Tony - in both their stories, the heroine, though not at all into the guy, comforts him during his time of over-emotional sorrow…and then urges him to move on.  My advice to Tony: look for women who have recently taken a tumble from the ramparts.


Now the three most notable absences from this list will be Arie, Sean, and Chris.  But I couldn’t assign them to a character, because I have a feeling one of them will end up as the hero (I haven’t even looked at Reality Steve. I promise. yet.).

So who will emerge as Mr. Darcy?  We’ll just have to watch and find out!!

Totally Random Tidbit: did you know Masterpiece has a web page dedicated solely to the men of Jane Austen??  I approve of this.

p.s. all photos are from


  1. Sadly, I've heard some things about Arie that could easily turn him into Wickam Jr. Yikes.

    I'm Team Sean!

  2. That comparison list is hilarious...I don't watch it-not big on tv really, unless it's Disney movies,(ha ha), but I match people up like that in real life all the time.Mr. Collins and Robert Ferrars....ugh. I am actually re-reading a series about Jane Austen as we speak--you would like it! They are by Stephanie Barrows--they are sort of true, sort of fiction, and mystery!!! Not gonna say anymore, you research about them and see what you think. The first one is Jane and the Unpleasantness at Scargrave Manor. Let me know!!